First Impressions / Weird Dream / Parallel Parking


ImageFirst Impressions

In my sociology class, we were instructed to write down answers to some questions the teacher was asking.

“Next question,” announced the instructor. “How would you like to be seen by the opposite sex?”

I was thinking about my answer when the young woman next to me turned and asked, “How do you spell intellectual?”

Weird Dream

“I had the strangest dream last night,” Morris told his psychiatrist. “I saw my mother, but when she turned around to look at me, I noticed that she had your face. As you can imagine, I found this very disturbing. In fact, I woke up immediately and couldn’t get back to sleep. I just lay there in bed, waiting for morning to come. Then I got up, drank a Coke and came right over here for my appointment. I thought you could help me explain the meaning of this strange dream.”

The psychiatrist was silent for a full minute before responding, “A Coke? You call that a breakfast”?

Parallel Parking

Upset over a newlywed squabble with my husband, I went to my mother to complain.

Trying to console me, my dad said that men are not all like this all the time.

“Nonsense,” I said. “Men are good for only one thing!”

“Yes,” my mother interjected, “but how often do you have to parallel park”?

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