Einstein
In a certain debating society, the subject of relativity came up. One member took it upon himself to elucidate the all-absorbing scientific theory. He explained, propounded and twisted the subject for an hour. When he had finished from sheer exhaustion, a listener spoke up.
“You know, after listening to you, I think you are really greater than Einstein himself. Very few people understand him, but NOBODY understands you.”
Technology
NASA engineers build a cannon that launches dead chickens at the windshields of airplanes, military jets and such to test the strength of the windshields against collisions with airborne fowl.
British engineers are eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements are made, and a cannon is sent to the British engineers.
When the cannon goes off, the engineers stand shocked as the chicken crashes into the shatterproof shield, smashes it to smithereens, blasts through the control console, snaps the pilot’s backrest in two, and embeds itself in the back wall of the cabin.
The horrified Brits send the Americans a report of the disastrous results, along with an urgent request for suggests on improving the windshield design.
The American engineers respond with a one-line memo: “Thaw the chicken.”
Memento
Friend: “I suppose you carry a memento of some sort in that locket of yours?”
Woman: “Yes, it’s a lock of my husband’s hair.”
Friend: “But your husband is still alive.”
Woman: “I know, but his hair is gone.”
Siblings
My seven-year-old son, Nick, received a snap-together electronic kit for his birthday. He learned that if you put a resistor in line with the speaker, it lowers the volume from the speaker.
During the six-hour car trip home from my parents’ house, Nick had had about enough of his five-month-old brother’s constant crying in the car. So he said, “I wish I had a resistor in my ear!”
