Shopping
My mom got mad at my dad the other day and went shopping to relieve her irritation. When she returned home she informed him that she had purchased ten new dresses.
“Ten!” he hollered, “What could any woman want with ten new dresses??”
My mom calmly replied, “Ten new pairs of shoes.”
Burglary
The detective was interviewing the man whose clothing shop had just been burglarized.
“It’s bad,” said the proprietor, “but it’s not as bad as it could have been if he’d robbed me yesterday.”
“Why is that?” the detective asked.
“Because today everything was on sale.”
Idealism
My friend Julie and I were eating at a Chinese restaurant.
When an elderly waiter set chopsticks at our places, Julie made a point of reaching into her purse and pulling out her own pair. “As an environmentalist,” she declared, “I do not approve of destroying bamboo forests for throwaway utensils.”
The waiter inspected her chopsticks.
“Very beautiful,” he said politely. “Ivory.”
Strange Marriage
An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.
