Eating peanuts
The ninty-year-old woman was out of the room when the minister came to visit her in the nursing home. He began munching on a bowl of peanuts she had on a table. She came and apologized for not being there when he came in.
He said, “Oh that’s all right, but I’m sorry I ate all of your peanuts.”
“Oh, pastor, don’t worry about that,” she told him. “I really don’t eat peanuts anyway. I just like to suck the chocolate off of them.”
What happens when you fall in love with:
A chef? (You get buttered up.)
A chauffeur? (You get taken for a ride.)
A gambler? (He cheats on you.)
A telephone operator? (He gives you a phone-y line.)
A trashman? (He dumps you.)
A clockmaker? (He two-times you.)
A pastry cook? (He desserts you.)
A shoe salesman? (He walks all over you.)
An elevator operator? (He lets you down.)
An artist? (He gives you the brush.)
A jogger? (He gives you the run-around.)
Smoke detector
Like every Sunday morning my son, David (5 years old), attended church with us. It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon.
He would bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a teaching from the Bible.
This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke detector. He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded from the smoke detector.
My child immediately raised his hand and said, “It means Daddy’s cooking dinner.”
