DoghouseA man is sitting on his front stoop staring morosely at the ground when his neighbor strolls over.
The neighbor tries to start a conversation several times, but the older man barely responds.
Finally, the neighbor asks what the problem is.
Well,” the man says, “I ran afoul of one of those questions women ask. Now I’m in the doghouse.”
“What kind of question?” the neighbor asks.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her when she was old, fat and ugly.”
“That’s easy,” says the neighbor. “You just say, ‘Of course I will.'”
“Yeah,” says the other man, “that’s what I meant to say. But what came out was, ‘Of course I do.'”
Rolling Into Work On Time
For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late.
Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Johnson’s arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased, and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor.
Finally, precisely at ten, Johnson showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, “I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself.”
And the boss said, “And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?”
Job Application
Applicants for jobs at the company where my friend Diana works are asked to fill out a questionnaire. Among the things candidates list is their high school and when they attended.
One prospective employee dutifully wrote the name of his high school, followed by the dates attended: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
