Clever dog
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while.
“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”
“Nah, he’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”
New ringtone
A company in Britain is releasing a new cell phone with a ringtone as loud as a vuvuzela. They say it’s the perfect way to tell the people around you, ‘Punch me in the face.'”
Jimmy Fallon
Doctors fee
A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical problem.
After the visit the man asks, “How much do I owe you?”
“My fee is R 1500,” replies the physician.
“R 1500? That’s impossible. No one charges that much!”
“In your case,” the doctor replies, “I suppose I could adjust my fee to R 750.”
“R 750? For one visit? Ridiculous.”
“Well, then, could you afford R 200?”
“Who has that kind of money?”
“Look, replies the doctor,” growing irritated, “Just give me a R 100 and get out of my office, okay?”
“I can give you R 50,” says the man. “Take it or leave it.”
“I don’t understand you,” says the doctor. “Why did you come to the most expensive doctor in Johannesburg if you have no money?”
“Listen, Doctor,” says the patient, “When it comes to my health, nothing is too expensive!”
Anaesthesia
An orthodontist was scheduled to extract four wisdom teeth from Jimmy, a high-school rugby player, who had opted to be sedated for the procedure. As the intravenous anaesthesia was being administered, the doctor asked Jim how he was feeling.
“Man,” he replied, struggling to keep his eyes open, “I feel like I’m in English class.”
