It was mealtime during our trip on a small airline in the Northwest. “Would you like dinner?” the flight attendant asked the man seated in front of me.

“What are my choices?” he asked.

“Yes or no,” she replied.

Why then?

A woman went to court and told the judge she wanted a divorce.

“Do you have any grounds!” the judge asked.

“Just two acres,” She said.

“That’s not it, lady. I mean do you have a grudge!”

“No, we park the car in front of the house.”

The judge was frustrated: “Does your husband beat you up!”

She replied. “No, I get up before he does.”

“Then why do you want a divorce?” the judge asked.

“Because,” she confessed, “we just don’t seem to be able to communicate.”


In Alabama you don’t see too many people hang-gliding. So Bubba decides to save up and get a hang-glider. He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running, reaches the cliff edge, and into the wind he goes!

Maw and Paw Hicks are sittin’ on the porch swing talkin’ ’bout the good days when Maw spots what she thinks is the biggest bird she has ever seen.

“Look at the size of that bird, Paw!” she exclaims, pointing to Bubba high in the air.

Paw raises up. “Git my gun, Maw.”

She runs into the house and brings out his pump shotgun.

He takes careful aim. BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the treetops.

“I think you missed him, Paw,” she says.

“Yeah,” he replies, “but at least he let go of Bubba.”

Be Carefull

(A) The number of physicians in the US is 700,000;

(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000;

(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.

Statistics courtesy U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services.

(A) The number of gun owners in the US is 80,000,000; (Yes, that’s 80 million.);

(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500;

(C! ) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is .000188

Statistics courtesy of FBI

So, by comparison, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners!

Remember, “Guns don’t kill as many people as doctors do.”

FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. HELP! We can neither afford to ban doctors or consult them!

Out of concern for the public at large; I have withheld the statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.

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