Worry
A woman was so certain that she had an incurable liver condition that she went to the doctor to find out about it.
The doctor assured her she was alright. “You wouldn’t know if you had this condition, because it causes no discomfort of any kind.”
“O, my goodness,” gasped the lady. “Those are my symptoms exactly!”
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Turkey Shopping
It was Christmas Eve in a supermarket and a woman was anxiously picking over the last few remaining turkeys in the hope of finding a large one.
In desperation she called over a shop assistant and said “Excuse me. Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
“No” he replied. “They’re all dead.”
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Police Rescue
I remember the day when a police car pulled up to Grandma’s house and Grandpa got out.
The officer explained that this elderly gentlemen said he was lost in the park.
“Why, Bill,” said Grandma, “You’ve been going there for over 30 years! How could you get lost?”
Leaning close to Grandma so the police officer couldn’t hear, he whispered, “I wasn’t exactly lost. I was just too tired to walk home.”
Helping Family
My husband Ronnie volunteered to strip the bricks from the exterior of my parents’ house. One morning he was out front chipping away when a man came by looking for my father.
“He’s not here,” Ronnie said.
The man thanked him, watched him remove a few more bricks, and said, “I’ll bet next time they’ll leave the key for you.”
