Humor Quotes

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on.

You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

You can’t teach a new mouse old clicks.

The tragedy of Canada: They could have had French cuisine, British culture, and American technology. Instead, they ended up with British cuisine, American culture, and French technology.

Even if you’re on the right track, you can still get hit by a train.

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Chocolate is salad.

“Jet lag is nature’s way of making sure you look like your passport photo.”

People who live in stone houses shouldn’t throw glasses.

Ideas are funny little things – they don’t work unless you do.

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.”