Humor Quotes

Women should not have children after 35. Really…35 children are enough.

A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for, is it?

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.

“When one door closes another one opens, you should really get that cabinet fixed!”

Twitter lets you follow total strangers without getting in trouble.

You don’t really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around- and why his parents will always wave back. William D. Tammeus

“A lot of people cry when they chop onions, but the trick is not to form an emotional bond.”

When in deep water, be sure to keep your mouth shut.

“Patience is better than pride” (Ecclesiastes 7:8). Of course, there’s some part of me that would like to have both.

Trying to be “normal” can make you crazy.