Humor and Cartoons

Forgotten inside The surgeon told his patient who woke up after having been operated: “I’m afraid we’re going to have to operate you again. Because, you see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.” “Well, if it’s just because of them, I’d rather pay for them if you just leave

Crashed plane A search and rescue team had been assembled and sent on a mission to find an airplane that had crashed on top of a mountain. It was their duty to rescue any survivors. After finally reaching the top of the mountain, they came upon the crash site. At

If famous historical figures were looking for a job today… Julius Caesar: My last job involved a lot of office politics and back stabbing. I’d like to get away from all that. Jesse James: I can list among my experience and skills: leadership, extensive travel, logistical organization, intimate understanding of

Weight loss Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful

Good show After church one Sunday morning, a mother commented, “The choir was awful this morning.” The father commented, “The sermon was too long.” Their 7-year-old daughter added, “You’ve got to admit it was a pretty good show for a dollar.” Contacts A policeman stops a lady and asks for

The matador After the fire-truck arrived at a burning building in a small Spanish town, the firemen observed a man dressed in a matador’s costume prancing around on the roof. Four of the firemen held a safety-net and urged him to escape from the burning building by jumping into the

Cultural Ages A Hebrew teacher stood in front of his class and said, “The Jewish people have observed their 5,759th year as a people. Consider that the Chinese, for example, have only observed their 4,692nd year as a people. “Now, what does it mean to you?” After a moment of

Think About This Before You Do Anything! A potential trespasser on a farm read this sign on a fence post: “If you cross this field you better do it in 9.8 seconds. The bull can do it in 10.” I apologize Dear Marty, I have been unable to sleep since

Doctor Quotes The following quotes were allegedly taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better. On the second day, the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared. The

Simple Question A renowned philosopher was held in high regard by his driver, who listened in awe at every speech while his boss would easily answer questions about morality and ethics. Then one day the driver approached the philosopher and asked if he was willing to switch roles for the