Squirrel Problem
There were four
churches. a Presbyterian, Methodist, Catholic and Baptist. All four had a
serious problem with squirrels in the church. Each church in its own fashion
had a meeting to deal with the problem.
The Presbyterians
decided that it was predestined that squirrels be in the church and that they
would just have to live with them.
The Methodists decided
they should deal with the squirrels lovingly in the style of Charles Wesley.
They humanely trapped them and re-leased them in a park at the edge of town.
Within 3 days, they were all back in the church.
The Catholics also
humanely trapped them and attempted to teach them the “rhythm”
method which of course did not work.
The Baptists had the
best solution. They voted the squirrels in as members. Now they only see them
at Christmas and Easter.
Church
Johnny’s mother looked
out the window and noticed him ‘playing church’ with their three little
kittens. He had the kittens sitting in a row, and he was preaching to
them. She smiled and went about her work. A while later she heard
loud meowing and hissing and ran back to the open window to see Johnny
baptizing the kittens in a tub of water. She called out, “Johnny, stop
that! Those kittens are afraid of water!”
Johnny looked up at her and said, “They should have thought about that before
they joined my church.”
The Famous Cab Driver
The tourist in
license that his cab driver’s name was Winston Churchill. Trying to make
conversation, he said, “I see your name is Winston Churchill.”
The driver simply said, “Yep.
That’s my moniker.”
The passenger, not willing to give up
yet on some banter, said, “That’s a pretty famous name.”
The driver responded with, “As well it should be too. I’ve
been driving a cab here for over forty years!”
Insurance Policy
Jill was discussing the various aspects
and possible outcome of her insurance policy with the man at the insurance
agency.
During the discussion, she asked,
“Suppose I take the life insurance for my husband today and tomorrow he
dies. What will I get?”
The agent eyed her suspiciously and
replied, “Probably a life sentence.”
