Golf Pro
Ted was struggling with his golf game so he enlisted the help of Bob, the club pro.
After observing Ted’s game through nine holes, Bob said, “I think I know your primary problem.”
Ted was eager for some answers: “What is it?” he asked.
Bob replied, “You’re standing too close to the ball after you hit it.”
Windows frozen
A wife texts her husband on a cold winter’s morning: “Windows frozen.”
Her husband texts back: “Pour some lukewarm water over it.”
The wife texts back 5 minutes later: “Computer completely messed up now.”
Expensive jewelry
A young woman walked into a fancy jewelry store. She looked through all the wonderful selections, found an especially gorgeous bauble and asked: “Can I please put a small deposit on this until my boyfriend does something stupid and unforgivable?”
Who’s the Boss?
A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself, “You don’t have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you are the boss.”
Of course, the husband takes the doctor’s advice. He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife’s face, and growls, “From now on, you’re taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs and lay out my best clothes. Tonight, I’m going out with the boys and you are going to stay at home where you belong.
And another thing … you know who’s going to comb my hair, adjust my pants, and then tie my bow tie?”
“I certainly do,” says his wife calmly …
“The undertaker!”
