Sinking Ship
Left on a sinking ship were the Captain and three sailors. The Captain spoke first.
“Men, this business about a Captain going down with this ship is nonsense. There’s a three-man life raft on board and I’m going to be on it. To see who will come with me, I will ask you each
one question. The one who can’t answer will stay behind. Here’s the first question :
What unsinkable ship went down when it hit an iceberg ?”
The first sailor answered, “The Titanic,Sir.”
“On to the next question: How many people perished?”
The second sailor said, “One thousand five hundred and seventeen, Sir”
“Now for the third question,” and the Captain turned to sailor number three.
“What were their names?”
Bar Room Houdini
A deputy police officer responded to a report of a barroom disturbance.
The “disturbance” turned out to be well over six feet tall and weighed almost 300 pounds. What’s more, he boasted that he could whip the deputy and the “Heavy Weight Boxing Champion of the World.”
Said the policeman, “I’ll bet that you’re also an escape artist too, probably better than Houdini.”
The giant nodded.
“If I had some chains,” the deputy continued, “you could show us how strong you really are. But all I’ve got is a set of handcuffs. Why don’t you see just how quickly you can break out of them?” Once in the cuffs, the man puffed, pulled and jerked for four minutes.
“I can’t get out of these,” the giant growled.
“Are you sure?” the deputy asked.
The fellow tried again. “Nope,” he replied. “I can’t do it.”
“In that case,” said the deputy, “you’re under arrest.”
Hospital Forms
In the admitting office of our hospital, some patients were filling out forms, others were being interviewed and still others were being escorted to their rooms.
An elderly woman hesitatingly entered my cubicle. She had completed her admitting forms and, upon my request, handed me her insurance cards. I typed the neccessary information and then asked her the reason for her coming to the hospital.
“Just to visit a friend,” she said, “but this had taken so long, I’m not sure I have time now.”
