“Tail Whacker”
A woman was working in her yard with the weed whacker, when she accidentally cut off the tail of her cat.
She ran screaming into the house, and told her husband, wondering what to do. He replied calmly, “Get the cat, and the tail, and we’ll take them to Wal-Mart.”
She was incredulous. “How could that possibly help?” she asked.
“Well,” he replied, “they’re the world’s largest retailer.”
“Bear Flight”
During Operation Desert Storm, I was a legislative affairs officer for Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf. Often I was required to transport gifts, sent to him from patriotic Amerians, from
As I boarded the plane, I explained my mission to the flight attendant and asked if she could store the bear in first class. She was honored to do so, and I disappeared into the coach section. Then, just before takeoff, an announcement came over the intercom: “Colonel Preast, would you please come up to first class? We have an extra seat for you to sit next to your teddy bear.”
Kitchen Fire
Jolene had been wanting new kitchen cabinets for a long time, but her husband insisted they were an extravagance.
Then she went to visit her mother for two weeks and when she returned, she was overjoyed to find that her husband had surprised her by installing beautiful new cabinets.
A few days later, a neighbor came over to visit and after admiring the new cabinets, the neighbor added, “All of us were so glad the fire your husband had while you were gone was confined to the kitchen.”
