Preparing dinner
One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, “When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller. You don’t love me any more?”
“Nonsense, darling,” replied the husband, “you just cook better now.”
Lost in translation
The following English translation was printed on a sign inside a ferry in San Juan Harbor: “In case of emergency, the lifeguards are under the seats in the center of the vessels.”
Paltry tips
After examining the paltry tips left by a church group, our waitress was not pleased. Looking toward my table, she grumbled, “Those people come in with the Ten Commandments and a ten-dollar bill, and they don’t break any of them!”
Virus scan
A co-worker asked if I knew what to do about a computer problem that was preventing her from getting e-mail. After calling the help desk, I told my colleague that e-mail was being delayed to check for a computer virus. “It’s a variant of the I Love You virus, only worse,” I said.
“What could be worse?” my single co-worker asked wryly. “The Let’s Just Be Friends virus?”
