Outstanding invoice
A window salesman telephoned his customer.
“Ms. Brown, our company replaced all your windows with triple-glazed models more than a year ago, and we still haven’t received a single payment.”
“But,”, she protested, “You promised me they would pay for themselves in 12 months.”
Call For A Ride
Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.
“What happened this time?” he asked.
“My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?”
“Where are you?” John asked.
“I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded.
“And where’s the car?” John asked.
Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”
Left Behind
“You just go ahead,” the man in the shopping mall said to his wife. “While you’re shopping, I’ll browse in the hardware store.”
An hour later, she returned and saw him at the checkout counter. The clerk was ringing up the last of a pile of tools and supplies that would fill two wheelbarrows.
“Are you buying all this?” his wife asked incredulously.
“Well, yes,” he said, embarrassed. Then waving his arm toward the interior of the store, he added, “But look at all the stuff I’m leaving behind!”
Busted
He was a young Pastor and as usual the enemy would try to stir up trouble in the family just before church … so they were running late getting into town … and he was speeding.
Then to top it off, he looked in the review mirror only to see the lights of the Highway Patrol ……….. busted! Already late for church and figuring he’d try for leniency, he quickly slapped his Bible on the dash of his car as the trooper walked up to the window and asked to see his drivers license.
Looking at his name and title on the license, the trooper asked, “You’re a Reverend huh?” The young Pastor affirmed that.
The trooper then began writing out a speeding ticket and said, “Well Reverend; your speedometer runneth over.”
As the trooper handed him the ticket and started to walk away, his last comment was, “Oh, by the way …. the Bible on the dash …. nice touch.”
