A group of foreign dignitaries are visiting Israel. At the end of the tour, they are taken to see the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. They look at the tomb and read the following inscription: ABRAHAM SCHWARTZ BORN 5694 DIED 5733 A GOOD MAN AND A GREAT FURRIER.
The visitors are incredulous. They ask the guide, “How can this be an unknown soldier if the grave has his name?”
Their host responds, “Sure, as a soldier he was unknown, but as a furrier — he was the best!”
Differences between men and women
NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Gorilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a R200, even though it’s only for R320.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
MONEY
A man will pay R5 for a R3 item he needs.
A woman will pay R3 for a R5 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that… is the beginning of a new argument.
DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
