The professor of a graduate-school class of gifted students included a HUGE amount of material on the midterm exam.Tension in the room built, people were sighing and gasping aloud as they realized how much material they had covered and were expected to recall.
The following week, the professor tossed the graded papers on her desk and announced, “Class, after I left here last week, the Lord spoke to me.
He said, ‘Thanks, professor. I haven’t heard from some of those people in years.'”
Two mothers were talking about their sons.
The first said, “My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn’t smoke, and he hasn’t so much as looked at a woman in over two years.”
The other woman said, “Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn’t he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn’t touched a drop of liquor in all that time.”
“My word,” the first mother said. “You must be so proud.”
“I am,” the second mother replied. “And when he’s paroled next month, I’m going to throw him a big party.”
Pick of the Crop
A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer’s garden.
“I’ll give you my two pennies for that tomato,” said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
“No,” said the farmer, “I get a dime for a tomato like that one.”
The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, “Will you take two pennies for that one?”
“Yes,” replied the farmer, “I’ll give you that one for two cents.”
“OK,” said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up in about a week.”