Married and Pregnant
I was in my ninth month of pregnancy and feeling very uncomfortable. On top of everything, my pleas for sympathy seemed to go unnoticed by my husband.
One day, I told him, “I hope in your next life, you get to be pregnant!”
He replied, “I hope in your next life, you get to be married to someone who’s pregnant!”
Proof of Name
I requested identification from a department store customer who had just written a personal check for her purchase. After fumbling through her purse, she presented me with what she said was the only thing that bore both her name and address.
It was a notice of insufficient funds from her bank.
I pulled into a crowded parking lot and rolled down the car windows to make sure my Labrador retriever had fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat, and I wanted to impress upon her that she must remain there. I walked to the curb backward, pointing my finger at the car and saying emphatically, “Now you stay. Do you hear me? Stay!”
The driver of a nearby car gave me a startled look. “I don’t know about you, lady,” he said incredulously. “But I usually just put my car in park.”