Lost Pigs
Howard County Police officers still write their reports by hand, and the data is entered later by a computer tech into their database. One theft report stated that a farmer had lost 2,025 pigs. Thinking that to be an error, the tech called the farmer directly.
“Is it true Mr. (Smith) that you lost 2,025 pigs?” she asked.
“Yeth.” lisped the farmer.
Being a Howard County girl herself, the tech entered:
“Subject lost 2 sows and 25 pigs.”
Cough Remedy
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against the wall. The owner asks the clerk “What’s with that guy over there by the wall?”
The clerk says, “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative.”
The owner screams, “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a bottle of laxative!”
The clerk replies, “Of course you can! Look at him. He’s too afraid to cough!”
Thirteen Year –Olds
“Doctor, I’d like you to evaluate my 13 year-old son.”
“OK: He’s suffering from a transient psychosis with an intermittent rage disorder, punctuated by episodic radical mood swings, but his prognosis is good for full recovery.”
“How can you say all that without even meeting him?”
“I thought you said he’s 13?”
Taa-Daa!
A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet, and instructs the guy to hit him hard on the head.
The magician then puts his head down on a wooden block.
The man shrugs his shoulders and pounds him.
Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in hospital and goes “Taa-Daa!”
