Lost in translation
An influential Londoner wound up a business trip to the Orient with a visit to Taipei. At a luncheon he was asked to say a few words. Since he spoke not a word of Chinese, his address was to be translated by an interpreter sentence by sentence.
“I want you to know,” he began, “I’m tickled to death to be asked here today.”
A look of panicked confusion appeared on the interpreter’ s face.
“This poor man,” he said in Chinese, “Scratches himself until he dies, only to be with you today.”
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Away From His Desk
As the boss was leaving the office to play golf, he instructed his secretary to tell all callers that he was away from his desk.
Shortly after he left, a member of his foursome called to find out which course they were playing that day. The loyal girl would only reply that her boss was away from his desk.
“Just tell me,” the golfer persisted, “is he five miles away from his desk, twenty miles away from his desk, or thirty miles away from his desk?”
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The Bar vs. The Baptists
In a small midwestern conservative town, a business owner began to construct a building for a new bar. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.
Work progressed, however, right up until the week before opening, when a lightning strike hit the bar and it burned to the ground.
The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the bar owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the demise of his building, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
In its reply to the court, the church vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection to the building’s demise.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented, “I don’t know how I’m going to decide this, but as it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that doesn’t!”
