Knowing better
Three children were debating whether they dared take candy mints to church to eat during the service. “Mother wouldn’t let us,” Terry warned. “Then put them in my pocket,” the smallest volunteered. “She thinks I’m too little to know better.”
“Robber Visit”
A man was sleeping soundly when his wife shook him and said, “Wake up, someone is breaking in!”
The man had gone through this same scenario almost every night of his marriage, and he knew that the only way he would get any rest was to get up and go check it out.
This time, however, he found that there really was a man with a gun who entered to rob the house!
As the thief was about to flee the man said, “Stop! You have to come with me and meet my wife.”
Surprised, the thief turned around abruptly and said, “Why would you want ME to meet your wife?”
The man replied, “She’s been expecting you for 20 years.”
How not to become a member of senior management:
During a meeting, our bosses held a contest to name a new project. As members of the management team read through the entries, our CEO picked one out and asked, “Who knows what a phoenix is?”
A junior manager answered, “It’s a bird in Harry Potter.”
Traffic jam
“This morning in Los Angeles, more than 100 truck-drivers staged a protest by intentionally driving their trucks super slowly on the freeway. This created the worst traffic jam in Los Angeles since yesterday morning.”
