Saving money
Faced with hard times, the company offered a bonus of R 10 000 to any employee who could come up with a way of saving money.
The bonus went to a young woman in accounting who suggested limiting future bonuses to R 100.
Quoting
Three contractors are bidding to fix the fence at a local company. All three are examining the fence with the company’s CFO.
The first contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says. “I figure the job will cost about R9000: R4000 for materials, R4000 for my crew and R1000 profit for me.”
The second contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do this job for R7000: R3000 for materials, R3000 for my crew and R1000 profit for me.”
The Johannesburg contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the CFO and whispers: “R27 000.”
The CFO, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”
“Easy, R10,000 for you, R10,000 for me and we hire the second contractor.”
Emergency call
A man shouted frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this her first child?” asked the dispatcher.
“NO!” he exclaimed, “this is her husband.”
