Historic place
A tour bus arrived at Runnymede, England. The guide asked the tourists to gather around and then said, “You are standing on the very spot where the barons forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.”
A man in the group asked, “When did that happen?”
“1215,” the guide answered.
The tourist looked at his watch, “Rats!” he said, “Missed it by half an hour.”
New Recruit
As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter’s office.
There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation.
“Oh, come on, quit joking,” snickered one. “You didn’t really do that, did you?”
“You would never get through basic training,” scoffed another.
The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him.
When she finally spoke, she simply asked, “Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?”
Truck stop
A truck driver stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. He ordered a cheeseburger, coffee, and a slice of apple pie.
As he was about to eat, three motorcycles pulled up outside. The bikers came in, and one grabbed the trucker’s cheeseburger and took a bite from it. The second one drank the trucker’s coffee, and the third wolfed down the apple pie.
The truck driver didn’t say a word. He simply got up, paid the cashier, and left.
When he was gone, one of the motorcyclists said, “He ain’t much of a man, is he?
“He’s not much of a driver, either,” the cashier replied, “He just backed his truck over three motorcycles.”
