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Where did you go?

A married couple had been out shopping at the mall for most of the afternoon, suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had disappeared.

The somewhat irate spouse called her mate’s cell phone and demanded: “Where did you go???”

The husband calmly replied, “Darling, you remember that jewelry shop where you saw the diamond necklace and totally fell in love with it and I didn’t have money that time and I said, ‘Baby, it’ll be yours one day’?”

Wife, with a smile blushing, said, “Yes, I remember that, my love.”

“Well, I’m at the Home Depot next to that shop.”

At the office

My boss phoned me today.

He said, “Is everything okay at the office?”

I said, “Yes, it’s all under control. It’s been a very busy day, I haven’t stopped for a minute.”

“Can you do me a favor?” he asked.

I said, “Of course, anything, what is it?”

He said, “Hurry up and take your shot, I’m right behind you on the 7th hole.”

Country Puddle

A man traveling down a country road was forced to stop before a giant puddle covering the entire road. Looking to the side of the road, the man noticed a farmer leaning on a fence. “Think it’s safe to cross?” the man asked.

“I reckon so,” replied the farmer.

The car was immediately swallowed by the puddle as the man drove in. In fact, it was so deep that he had to roll his window down to swim out of his car back to the surface.

As his head broke the surface the man said to the farmer, “I thought you said I could safely drive through this puddle!”

“Well, golly!” said the farmer, scratching his head.

“It only come up chest-high on my ducks!”

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