Getting Older
Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time.
One day Amy was upset because she thought her husband didn’t find her attractive anymore.
“As I get older he doesn’t bother to look at me!” Amy cried.
“I’m so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day.” replied Jamie.
“Yes,” answered Amy, “but your husband’s an antique dealer!”
Humility
A colleague was invited to hold a speech in Japan. Aware of his reputation as a very good speaker, he was surprised that his audience did not react at all to any of his perfectly timed jokes and witticisms. In fact, the audience did not react to anything he said.
Somewhat put down, he went back to his seat and a Japanese gentleman appeared on the stage. This man had a terrific success! People laughed and applauded, and although the original speaker could not understand one bit of what was said, still he started to applaud, as the man evidently deserved praise for this perfect speech.
He was interrupted by the chairman of the conference, “No no, sir. You must not applaud.”
Dumbfounded, he protested: “But why? This man is obviously a very good speaker.”
“No sir, you must not applaud. He is translating your speech.”
Restrooms ahead
Gatiep was driving to Johannesburg and saw a sign that said: Clean Restrooms Ahead.
By the time he finally reached the Joburg, he had scrubbed and polished 10 of them.
