Artist’s Sketch
Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau. The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like.
On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.
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Check My Leg
A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!”
The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only to hear: “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.”
“That’s amazing!” exclaims the doctor.
“That’s nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee.”
The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard it say: “Man, I really need 10 dollars, just lend me 10 bucks!”
The doctor was dumbfounded. “Sir, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never come across anything like this.”
“Wait Doc, that’s not all. There’s more, just put your ear to my ankle,” the man urged.
The doctor did so and was blown away to hear his ankle plead: “Please, I just need 5 dollars. Only 5 bucks. Please!!”
“I have no idea what to tell you,” the doctor said. He frantically searched all his medical reference books. “There’s nothing about it in here.”
The doctor thought hard for a moment and then said, “Let me try to make a well educated guess. Based on all my previous experience, I can tell you this much: your leg seems to be broke in three places.”
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Answering Machine
I purchased a telephone-answering machine with a prerecorded message that used a male voice. When Mother returned from vacation, I forgot to mention it to her.
The next Saturday, the phone rang and the machine answered. After the message, there was a pause and the caller hung up. A second time and the same result.
Then the phone rang a third time. I heard, “This is your mother, I think. If I am, please call me.”
