Honesty
“This house,” said the real estate salesman, “has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both.
The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.”
“What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer.
“The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing.”
Using words
English teacher says to her student: Sam, please use the word “wagon” in a sentence.
Sam: If I told my dog to stop wagon his tail, he would still wag on.
Paying attention
The math teacher saw that Daphne wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on her and said, ‘Daphne! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’
Daphne quickly replied, ‘ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!’
Directions
A lady standing in the middle of a busy street asked a traffic constable: “Can you guide me how to go to the city hospital?”
Constable: “Lady, just keep standing here and you will be there in no time.”
Lazy dog
My dog is so lazy he won’t even bark, he just waits for another dog to bark, then nods.
