Whats for dinner?
Jane had developed a system for labeling homemade freezer meals. She would carefully note in large clear letters, “Meatloaf,” “Pot Roast,” “Steak and Vegetables,” “Chicken and Dumplings,” or “Beef Pot Pie.”
However, whenever she asked her husband what he wanted for dinner he never asked for any of those meals so she decided to stock the freezer with what he really asked for.
In Jane’s freezer now you’ll see a whole new set of labels. You’ll find dinners with neat little tags that say: “Whatever,” “Anything,” “I Don’t Know,” “I Don’t Care,” “Something Good,” or “Food.
Peanut Visit
A preacher visits an elderly woman from his congregation. As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.
“Mind if I have a few” he asks.
“No, not at all” the woman replied.
They chat for an hour and as the preacher stands to leave, he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl.
“I’m terribly sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really just meant to eat a few.”
“Oh that’s all right” the elderly woman says.
“Ever since I lost my teeth all I can do is suck the chocolate off them.”
First Flight
Aboard an airline flight from Europe to America, Grandma Bern was taking her very first flight.
They had only been aloft a few minutes when the old lady complained to the stewardess that her ears were popping.
The girl smiled and gave the older woman some chewing gum, assuring her that many people experienced the same discomfort.
When they landed in New York, Grandma thanked the stewardess. “The chewing gum worked fine,” she said. “Now that we’ve arrived, would you tell me, how do I get it out of my ears?”
