“Apprehension”
As a new employee for a discount brokerage firm, I went for a month of classroom training. Warning us about the volume of information we were required to memorize, one trainer suggested we make lots of notes on file cards.
When I completed the course, I was assigned to a team where, as suggested, I taped all the file cards, crammed with notes, onto my computer.
On my first day of trading, a veteran broker sat with me. He immediately noticed all the cards, and my apprehension, so he promptly made up a new card, which he taped to my computer.
It read “Breathe.”
Late Rent
As a result, his landlord now stood before him, demanding the three months rent
“Give me a couple of weeks,”
“Absolutely not,” the landlord said. “You gave me that story last month. You won’t get another day’s credit from me.”
“Look,”
“Pay your rent now,” the landlord said, “or they’ll be able to say it tomorrow morning!”
Jogging Shoes
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoes, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for”?
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Don’t kiss women who work in banks, they’re tellers!
