Church Service Of The Future
PASTOR: “Praise the Lord!”
CONGREGATION: “Hallelujah!”
PASTOR: “Will everyone please turn on their tablet, PC, iPad, smart phone, and Kindle Bibles to 1 Corinthians 13:13. And please switch on your Bluetooth to download the sermon.”
P-a-u-s-e……
“Now, let us pray committing this week into God’s hands. Open your Apps, BBM, Twitter and Facebook, and chat with God”
S-i-l-e-n-c-e
“As we take our tithes and offerings, please have your credit and debit cards ready.”
“Please log on to the church wi-fi using the password ‘Lord909887. ‘ ”
“Please use your iPad to make your electronic fund transfers directly to the church account. Or if you prefer, the ushers will circulate mobile card swipe machines among the pews. If you forgot to bring an electronic device, you are directed to computers and laptops at the rear of the church. Those who prefer telephone banking, take out your cellphones to transfer your contributions to the church account.”
The holy atmosphere of the Church becomes truly electrified as ALL the smart phones, iPads, PCs and laptops beep and flicker!
Final Blessing and Closing Announcements: “This week’s ministry cell meetings will be held on the various Facebook group pages where the usual group chatting takes place. Please log in and don’t miss out. Thursday’s Bible study will be held live on Skype at 1900hrs GMT. Please don’t miss out.
You can follow your Pastor on Twitter this weekend for counseling and prayers.
God bless you and have a nice day.
Too Distant / Too Close
The showers in my daughter’s dorm turned scalding hot whenever a toilet was flushed. To warn others, residents would yell out, “Flushing!” each time they flushed the toilets.
During one of my daughter’s visits home, a friend stopped by to chat for a while. I was explaining how my daughter was acting more distant now that she was in college, and that she didn’t tell me all about her life the way she used to.
Suddenly we heard my daughter call out from the bathroom, “Flushing!”
“Wow!” said my friend, “How much more do you want to know?”
