Elderly Proposal
There were these two elderly people living in a retirement village. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, “Will you marry me?” After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered. “Yes, Yes, I will.”
The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled.
“Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?” He couldn’t remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.
With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?” He was delighted to hear her say, “Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.”
Then she continued, “And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.”
First Case Tried
An investment counselor decided to go out on her own. She was shrewd and diligent, so business kept coming in, and pretty soon she realized that she needed an in-house counsel. She began to interview young lawyers.
“As I’m sure you can understand,” she started off with one of the first applicants, “in a business like this, our personal integrity must be beyond question.” She leaned forward. “Mr. Peterson, are you an honest lawyer?”
“Honest?” replied the job prospect. “Let me tell you something about honest. Why, I’m so honest that my father lent me $15,000 for my education, and I paid back every penny the minute I tried my very first case.”
“Impressive. And what sort of case was that?”
The lawyer squirmed in his seat and admitted, “He sued me for the money.”
Friendly Fish Competition
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant Marlin that was larger & heavier than he was.
On the way to the cleaning shed he ran into a buddy who had maybe a dozen or so Rockfish.
The buddy eyed the Marlin & said, “Only caught the one, huh ?”
That’s Not My Job
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody’s job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn’t do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.
