Christmas Cards
I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, “Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way.”
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
“They’re last year’s,” he said. “I forgot to mail them. Now let’s go out to dinner and relax. You’ve been working too hard.”
Testimony
Working as a court reporter, I hear a lot of testimony that you won’t hear on LAW AND ORDER, including the following give-and-take between the judge and a mother during a paternity suit.
Judge: “Was the child born out of wedlock?”
Mother: “No, sir, just outside of Bloemfontein.”
Knitting Chinese
Many years ago my wife was to knitting what Peyton Manning is to football. She designed exotic patterns with ease.
There was an occasion when we had lunch in a real Chinese restaurant (only one person spoke partial English, all menus were in Chinese). When she saw the handwritten menu she was so impressed with the calligraphy she tucked it in her purse.
Some months later I saw the result – a stunning white sweater with the Chinese symbols hand-stitched down the front.
She received compliments galore until at one party when we met a distinguished Chinese physician who asked my wife where she got the symbols. He then wanted to know if she knew what they meant.
“I’m afraid to ask,” she said, “but tell me anyway.”
Even she had to laugh when he told her they read, “This is a cheap dish – but good.”
