Wedding Vows
Mrs. Frobisher and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception, and all the excitement was over. Patty asked her mother, “Why did the bride change her mind, Mommy?”
“How do you mean, change her mind?” asked Mrs. Frobisher.
“Well,” said the child, “she went into the church with one man and came out with another!”
“I can’t come in to work today because . . . .”
“My son dropped the car keys in the toilet and I sent him in after them. Now I’m waiting for the plumber.”
“I have to buy some new skis. I left my old ones in a tree.”
“My computer is down. I’m trying to cheer it up.”
“I have a sick kid. The adult goats, however, seem to be doing fine.”
“I’m having car trouble. The trouble is I no longer own a car.”
“I won a sauerkraut and sausage eating contest yesterday. You don’t want me there today. Trust me.”
Yacht Refinancing
I went to my bank to refinance a loan on my yacht.
Making small talk with the loan officer, I told her that she was the main reason I came to that branch.
Not even looking up from her paperwork, the loan officer responded, “You don’t fool me, sailor. I’ll bet you have a woman in every bank.”
