Hearing Aid
Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back to the doctor for a test a month later. The doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased you can hear again.”
To which the gentleman said, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
Buying roses
The young man ahead of my father at the flower shop was taking an unusually long time to place his order.
When the clerk asked how she could help, he explained that his girlfriend was turning 19 and he couldn’t decide whether to give her a dozen roses or 19 roses — one for each year of her life.
The woman put aside her business judgment and advised, “She may be your 19-year-old girlfriend now, but someday she could be your 50-year-old wife.”
The young man bought a dozen roses.
Ready yet?
A man pacing back and forth glanced at his watch and yelled upstairs to his wife, “Honey, are you ready yet?”
Shouting back, the woman replies, “For crying out loud, Ed, I’ve been telling you for the last half hour…I’ll be ready in a minute!”
Catching fish
After fishing for walleye all day and not getting so much as a bite, the fisherman gave up. On the way home he stopped at a fish market and asked the proprietor to throw him six of the biggest fish he had.
“Throw them? Why?” asked the proprietor.
“Because I’m going to catch them. I may be a lousy fisherman, but I’m not a liar.”
