Humor 09/06/14

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090614Profile Sketch

Artist Pablo Picasso surprised a burglar at work in his new chateau.

The intruder got away, but Picasso told the police he could do a rough sketch of what he looked like.

On the basis of his drawing, the police arrested a mother superior, the minister of finance, a washing machine, and the Eiffel tower.

Does It Hurt?

When I was a mother’s helper, the mom of the family I worked for sat with her three oldest children and watched a documentary special showing the birth of a baby. The mom thought it would be a good starting point for answering questions about the facts of life.

As her five-year-old studied the baby coming out of the birth canal, he asked, “Mom, does that hurt?”

“Oh, yes, it does,” she said, remembering her difficult deliveries.

“Wow,” he continued in awe, “does it hurt the mommy too?”

Shine

As a new Ensign, I was assigned duty at the Naval Observatory in Washington, DC, and carpooled to work with a veteran Marine sergeant. One afternoon, I showed him a pair of brown shoes I had purchased to go with my khaki uniform. He examined the leather carefully. “Let me take these home,” he said, “and I’ll show you a real Marine Corps shine.”

The next day I wore my old shoes, expecting to switch them with the ones the sergeant was polishing. From a grocery bag, Sarge pulled out the right shoe, shining like glass. “This is the way a Marine shines a shoe,” he said. “Now all you have to do is polish the left one to look like it.”

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