Humor 05/05/14

050514

050514Hawaii or Havaii

These two persons are discussing whether the state of Hawaii is pronounced ‘Havaii,’ or ‘Hawaii.’

So there they stood arguing and arguing, until they decided to ask a person that was walking by. So they asked a gentleman: ‘Excuse me sir, is Hawaii pronounced ‘Hawaii’ or ‘Havaii?”

The gentleman said, ‘Havaii.’

So they both looked at each other, and as the gentleman was leaving, one of the two said to him, ‘Thank you.’

The gentleman replied by saying, ‘You’re velcome.’

Interviews

A business man was interviewing applicants for the position of divisional manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable person for the job. He asked each applicant the question, “What is two and two?”

The first interviewee was a journalist. His answer was “Twenty-two.”

The second applicant was an engineer. He pulled out a slide rule and showed the answer to be between 3.999 and 4.001.

The next person was a lawyer. He stated that in the case of Jenkins v Commissioner of Stamp Duties, two and two was proven to be four.

The last applicant was an accountant. The business man asked him, “How much is two and two?”

The accountant got up from his chair, went over to the door and closed it then came back and sat down. He leaned across the desk and said in a low voice….

“How much do you want it to be?”

He got the job.

Plants

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

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