Practical Marriage
A Pastor was called to a local nursing home to perform a wedding. An anxious old man met him at the door. The pastor sat down to counsel him. The Pastor asked several questions.
“Do you love her?”
The old man replied, “I guess.”
“Is she a good Christian woman?”
“I don’t know for sure,” the old man answered.
“Does she have lots of money?” asked the pastor.
“I doubt it.”
“Then why are you marrying her?” the preacher asked.
“She is allowed to drive at night,” the old man said.
Age question
Kindly adult: “How old are you, little man?”
Shy child: (silently holds up 4 fingers)
Kindly adult: “Four years old! And when will you be five?”
Shy child: “When I hold up the other finger.”
Praise Choruses Vs Hymns: (2)
A young, new Christian went to his hometown one weekend and attended the small church there. He came home and his wife asked him how it was.
“Well,” said the young man, “It was good. They did something different, however. They sang hymns instead of regular chorus songs.”
“Hymns,” said his wife, “what are those?”
“Oh, they’re okay. They’re sort of like regular songs, only different.”
“Well, what’s the difference?” asked his wife.
The young man said, “Well, it’s like this. If I were to say to you, ‘Martha, the cows are in the corn.’ Well, that would be a regular song. If, on the other hand, I were to say to you:
O Martha, dear Martha, hear thou my cry
Inclinest thine ear to the words of my mouth.
Turn thou thy whole wondrous ear by and by, To the righteous, inimitable, glorious truth.
For the way of the animals who can explain There in their heads is no shadow of sense, Hearkenest they in God’s sun or his rain Unless from the mild, tempting corn they are fenced.
Yea, those cows in glad bovine, rebellious delight, Have broke free their shackles, their warm pens eschewed.
Then goaded by minions of dark and night They all my mild Chilliwack sweet corn hath chewed.
So look to that bright shining day by and by, Where all foul corruptions of earth are reborn.
Where no vicious animal makes my soul cry And I no longer see those foul cows in the corn. Amen.'”
He continued, “Then, if I were to do only verses one, three, and four, and do a key change on the last verse, well, that would be a hymn.”
