A middle-aged man walks into a psychologist’s office wearing a dancer’s tutu, flippers and a scuba mask.
The psychologist, humoring him, asks, “What seems to be the problem?”
The man answers, “Well, Doc, I’m worried about my brother…”
The Wedding Dress
The groom to be said to his fiancee, “Three-thousand eight-hundred dollars for a dress that’s only going to be worn once?!”
“Who says it’s only going to be worn once?”
“Oh? You’re planning to get married again? You know you can’t wear white the second time!”
“No, but I do plan to have a daughter and she’ll wear it on her wedding day. And she’ll have a daughter who will wear it on her wedding day. And her daughter will wear it on her wedding day. It will become a family heirloom.”
“I’ll bet your mother never bought such an extravagant dress.”
“Oh yeah? Well, she did too, smarty!
“Okay, then why don’t you wear hers?”
“Who wants to get married in that old thing?”
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. The butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor, who happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed by the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “If your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?”
“Of course. How much was the roast?”
A few days later, the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98.
Attached to it was an invoice that said, “Legal Consultation Service: $150.”