Flashlight Defense
A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.
“Is it true,” he asked, “that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?”
“That depends,” replied the guide,
“on how fast you carry the flashlight.”
Better By Train
A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought and carried on at half power. Farther on down the line, the other engine broke down and the train came to a standstill.
The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about why the train had stopped, and made the following announcement, “Ladies and gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that both engines have failed, and we will be stuck here for some time. The good news is that you decided to take the train and not fly.”
Keep Walking
An eight year old boy is walking down the road one day when a car pulls over next to him.
“If you get in the car,” the driver says, “I’ll give you $10 and a piece of candy.”
The boy refuses and keeps on walking.
A few moments later, not to take no for an answer, the man driving the car pulls over again. “How about $20 and two pieces of candy?”
The boy tells the man to leave him alone and keeps on walking.
Still further down the road the man pulls over to the side road.
“OK,” he says, “this is my final offer. I’ll give you $50 and all the candy you can eat.”
The little boy stops, goes to the car and leans in. “Look,” he says to the driver. “You bought the Ford, Dad. You’ll have to live with it!”
