Newborn baby
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”
Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”
“Really!? Like a newborn baby!?”
“Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.”
New baby brother
A little boy was asked whether he was excited about the new baby his mother was expecting.
“Yes!” the 4-year-old said, “and I know what we are going to name it, too. If it’s a girl we’re going to call it Christina, and if it’s another boy we’re going to call it quits!”
Ambition
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a “great” writer.
When asked to define “great,” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
