Guess who?
A woman walks into a post office and notices a middle-aged, well- dressed man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. As he seals each envelop he sprays it with a puff of perfume. The woman’s curiosity gets the better of her, so she goes up to the man and asks what he is doing.
The man replies, “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?” she asks.
“Because I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.
Disappearing wife
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he spent the weekend (and his money) partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.
After a couple of hours screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer “How would you like it if you didn’t see me for a couple of days?!?”
The husband couldn’t believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, “That would suit me just fine!!”
Monday went by, and the man didn’t see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn’t see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.
Tragedy
President Zardari is visiting a school. In one class, he asks the students if anyone can give him an example of a “tragedy.”
One little boy stands up and offers that, “If my best friend who lives next door is playing in the street when a car came by and killed him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, ” Zardari says, “That would be an ACCIDENT.”
A girl raises her hand. “If a school bus carrying fifty children drove off a cliff, killing everyone inside…that would be a tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not,” explains Zardari. “That is what we would call a GREAT LOSS.”
The room is silent; none of the other children dare volunteer.
“What? ” asks Zardari, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
Finally a boy in the back raises his hand. In a timid voice, he says: “If an airplane carrying Zardari and Gillani was blown up by a bomb, that would be a tragedy.”
“Wonderful !” Zardari beams. “Marvellous! And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss!”
