Don’t Take That Pill!
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
“I’ll be right back with some water,” the doctor tells him.
The doctor is gone awhile and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.
The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.
“Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes.”
Book vs. Movie
A man said to a woman leaving a movie theatre with her dog, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice that your dog was really into the movie. He cried at the right spots, he moved nervously in his seat at the boring parts, but most of all, he laughed like crazy at the funny parts. Isn’t that unusual?”
“Yes. He hated the book.”
I was shopping for art supplies at my friend’s craft store. As she was checking me out, my friend asked, “Have you gotten thinner?”
Flattered, I replied, “Why, yes. I’ve been on this diet for a couple of weeks now and I’ve lost a few pounds.”
My friend rolled her eyes and said, “I meant paint thinner.”