Silly Quotes

“After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.” Sign in a British office.

“I don’t think we learned a lesson; I think it was a learning experience for us.” Shaquille O’Neal, basketball player, after game 4 of the 2001 NBA finals, on being asked by NBC reporter Jim Gray if LA had learned a lesson from what happened the previous year in Indiana

“Did people build this, or did Indians?” Tourist question at Mesa Verde National Park

“I’ve always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.” Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries.

“Man Breaks Leg In Fall Off Bride.” St. Louis Dispatch Headline (should have read “bridge.”)

“Guys aren’t able to get $15 or $20 million anymore, so you have to play for the love of the game.” Penny Hardaway, NBA Basketball Player

“Bruce Sutter has been around for awhile and he’s pretty old. He’s thirty-five years old. That will give you some idea of how old he is.” Ron Fairley, Giants broadcaster

“The FA are still optimistic about England’s bid to stage the World Cup in twenty thousand and six.” Peter Snow, BBC2 anchorman

“I would not say he (David Ginola) is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better.” Ron Atkinson

“While sitting in a tavern, someone hit my nose from behind.” Reason given for insurance claim.