Cartoon

Wet Yet?

Cassie was a really good mom. When her children were growing
up, her one son gave her more than a few “stop and count to 10”
periods.

Once, after her small son fell into the pond and came home
with his good school clothes dripping wet, the exasperated Cassie sent him to
his room while she washed and dried his clothes. A little later, Cassie heard a
commotion in the back yard. She called out, “Are you out there wetting
your pants again!?” There was dead silence for a moment. Then a deep,
masculine voice answered meekly, “No, ma’am, I’m just reading the
meter.”

Defending Your Land

A sweet little old lady really wanted to visit England, the
home of her ancestors, before she died. So she went down to her local federal
office center to get a passport. “You must take the loyalty oath
first,” the passport clerk said. “Raise your right hand, please.”
The old gal raised her right hand. “Do you swear to defend the
Constitution of the United
 States
against all its enemies, domestic or
foreign?” Her sweet old face paled and her voice trembled as she
responded, “Well, I suppose so, but will I have help, or will I have to do
it all by myself?”

Ouch!

An elderly man and his wife, vacationing at a cabin by the
lake, were sitting on the porch and reminiscing about their younger years.
“This is the lake where I learned how to swim when I was a small
boy,” the husband said. “My father threw me into the water and I had
to learn how to dog paddle to get back to the shore or drown. It was sink or
swim.” “That was a cruel thing for your father to do,” the wife
said. “How could a loving father do such a thing to a small child? That
must have been a very difficult way to learn how to swim.” “Not
really,” replied the husband. “Learning how to swim was the easy
part. Getting out of that burlap bag first was the hard part!”

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