Weapon of choice
Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing.
It was obvious he’d been in a bad fight and lost.
While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened.
“Well, Dad,” said Aaron, “I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons.”
“Uh-huh,” said the father, “that seems fair.”
“I know, but I never thought he’d choose his sister!”
Free Haircut
The price of going to the barber was quite exorbitant in a particular city. Hardly anyone could afford a full treatment but a man came into a barber shop with a little boy and asked for the full treatment – shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc.
After the barber had finished with him, the man placed Little Johnny on the chair.
“I’m going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When Little Johnny’s haircut was complete and the man still hadn’t returned, the barber said, “Looks like your daddy’s forgotten all about you.”
“That wasn’t my daddy,” said Little Johnny.
“He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, kid, we’re gonna get a free haircut!'”
Harvard Graduates
A young man had just graduated from Harvard and was so excited just thinking about his future.
He gets into a taxi and the driver says, “How are you on this lovely day?”
“I’m the Class of 2012, just graduated from Harvard and I just can’t wait to go out there and see what the world has in store for me.”
The driver looks back to shake the young man’s hand and says, “Congratulations, I’m Mitch, Class of 1969.”
