Trial options
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial.
“Jury trial,” the defendant replied.
“Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge.
“Sure,” replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one.”
Enough is enough
A strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of Morris, one of the older workmen. After several minutes, Morris had enough.
“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is?” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”
“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “It’s a bet! Let’s see what you got.”
Morris reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”
Being Truthful
The judge warned the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?”
“I do.”
“Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?”
“Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
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I opened the refrigerator at work to get my lunch. Instead of my dessert, I found this note: “IOU one banana cream. Sorry, it was an emergency. Sharon.”
