That’s A Lie!
The pastor saw one of his church members coming up the steps to church. “We missed you last Sunday, Brother Smith. I hear you missed church to go to the horse races.” “That’s a lie!” replied Mr. Smith, “And I have the fish to prove it!”
28 Ounce Water Pump
A woman calls an import parts warehouse and asks for a 28-ounce water pump.
“A what?” says the confused parts guy.
“My husband says he needs a 28-ounce water pump.”
“A 28-ounce water pump? What kind of car does it fit?”
“A Datsun.”
As the parts guy writes down “Datsun, 28 oz. water pump” the light in his head goes on. “Oh yes ma’am. We’ve got 28-ounce water pumps. We have 24-ounce and 26-ounce water pumps too.”
“Finally,” she says. “You’re the first place I’ve called that knew what I was talking about.”
“Yes ma’am. That’s because we’re a full-service parts warehouse; it’s our job to have the parts you need, like a 28-ounce water pump,” he says, smiling, as he jots down customer pick-up, Datsun 280Z water pump, part number…
Childish Wisdom
A few days after Christmas, my six-year-old son and I were talking. He asked, “Mom, is there a Santa Claus?”
“Well, what do you think?” I asked him.
He replied, “Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper.”
He thought for a minute and said, “I’ll tell you what … you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let’s just forget we ever had this talk!”
