ImageThat First Kiss
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss. With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ’bout a goodnight kiss?”
Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!” 
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?” 
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?” 
“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!” 
“No way. It’s just too risky!” 
“Oh please, please, I like you so much!!” 
“No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!” 
“Oh yes you can. Please?” 
“NO, no. I just can’t.”
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled.  In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”
~Mikey’s Funnies
Overly Protective
No one is more cautious than a first time parent. After our daughter was big enough to ride on the back of my bicycle, I bought a special carrier with a seat belt and got her a little helmet.
The day of the first ride, I put her in the seat, double checked all the equipment, wheeled the bike to the end of the driveway, carefully looked both ways and, swinging my leg up over the crossbar, accidentally kicked her right in the chin.
Two Words
A teacher said to her class, “From the outset, I want you all to know there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite or on any of your papers, tests or homework. Using the words even once will earn you a failing grade for the quarter. The first one is ‘gross’ and the other one is ‘cool.’ Are there any questions?”
A student says, “So, what are they?”
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